The Journal of Tank Bloodhorn.
Original Dwarven: Sniff. Fings attacked us, I bashed ‘em. Sniff. Cuzin Pint got lost in a bush. No one else did nuffin. Sniff. I need somfink else to smash. Whose round is it?
Translated into Common: While the rest of the party healed up, bound wounds, and cleaned their weapons, the sly and stealthy Elf Bae-Wynn set about exploring the seemingly abandoned Goblin village. All she found were a couple of Goblin babies we she handed off to the bemused Dwarven cousins, who hastily passed the children onto Mira, the Half-Orc ranger. Going back to investigate the crude shanty town, Bae-Wynn was ambushed by the leader of the tribe, an impossibly tall and thin Goblin wielding a nasty-looking club, but the Elf’s natural charm managed at least to get the Goblin leader agree to talk. The two Goblin infants were returned to the remaining Goblin warriors, despite Njord wanting to use them as a bargaining chip, Pint wanting to use them as a football, and Tank wanting to use them as lunch.
Efforts at diplomacy soon broke down and a fight broke out, with Bae-Wynn being surrounded by angry Goblins. The bard managed to cast her usual Grease spell, which Tank immediately tried to run through and promptly fell over. At the same time a captive wild boar managed to break loose from its pen and attacked the party. Njord, the half-Elf sorcerer, summoned a water elemental that promptly drowned one Goblin in the pond, while the boar badly gored Mira’s pet wolf. Tank then stood up, stepped out of the grease spell, and killed both the Goblin leader while Pint killed the boar. Once again, the Dwarf cousins saved the entire party.
Everyone healed up with the help or the halfing Cleric’s divine spells, after which Tank insulted Mira (presumably over her distinct lack of a beard) and got punched in the face. Bae-Wynn explored all the huts and found many jars of what she said was vinegar but everyone else thought was Goblin pee. Tank drank them all anyway. Bae-Wynn also found a shield made of a giant beetle carapace and a masterwork breastplate, a longsword, and two potions which were identified as Cure Light Wounds potions. There were also three human captives in the shanty town, who were freed by Bae-Wynn. These three captives were loggers from the logging site further up the river.
The next day the party headed off to find the logging town but were distracted when Mira found a path leading off into the woods. Mira and Bae-Wynn went off to explore and the rest of the party, in particular the Dwarves, got bored of waiting very quickly and followed after about an hour. The group found a ruined manor house, obviously burned down, and a magical hedge maze next to the ruins.
In the wreckage of the manor house the party found four drunken Kobolds in the wine cellar, whom Tank and Njord kill (after both Tank and Pint fall over rubble several times; that heavy drinking will take its toll). There was a meat locker in another part of the ruins with a moving vegetation/mold which forms a humanoid shape, which Njord destroys with a Burning Hands spell (after the drunken Pint fumbles an attack and wounds himself).
After tiring of exploring the manor house and finding nothing of interest, the party decided to head into the immaculately crafted hedge maze, but as soon as they walk through the entrance the illusion fades and the maze now looks like an overgrown mess. Now exploring the maze (and killing a giant bird), the party are hoping they can find their way out…