What follows are the scribbles of what passes for Flan’s journal.
Doop deep doop, doop deep doop.
I think I’m supposed to write something here.
I suppose I should start from today since I forgot most of what has happened since we left the village.
We woke up in town, not the town full of nasties, but the other one equally full of nasties that won’t immediately rob you blind and stab you- not necessarily in that order.
We stumbled out of bed and filtered back to the bar where a very friendly shepherd was chatting it up with us. It’s good to see a friendly face for a change! I was beginning to think everyone here was a prude. What with the blacksmith and the guards being mean to me all the time! Loomis is his name apparently, and he makes milk! That’s cool I guess.
I also talked to the archaeologist lady and asked her for her digits. For purely professional reasons of course.. but also for a potential booty call. Full disclosure; I am tapping that at some point.
Suddenly the guy that we sold all the fertilizer came in all excited. Looks like the fertilizer is magical and made his tomatoes grow overnight! Woot! Now I will eat all those tomatoes and grow big too! That’ll show them!
Okay, I managed to eat a whole tomato and I didn’t feel any different. Guess Yalandra was right.
But then, while we, and by that I mean me, were eating the tomatoes, we hear that the archaeologist dorf lady is making a run for it back to the city to get the rest of the fertilizer! Naturally we had to stop her!
So we sent out the one with the big legs to chase after her. We pulled Darwynn out of bed and sent her off in her merry way since she’s the tallest out of all of us being a half-elf and such.
Nori wanted to fill a flask of beer so he could give it to Darwynn when we eventually caught up with her, but I was like ‘we should take the whole cart with us! Duh!’ Silly dwarf. I should pull his beard, I’m told they like that.
And off we went, rather slowly, in pursuit of Darwynn and Tray the dwarven archaeologist lady.
After traveling a few miles we found a spot where there had obviously been a fight. Wellp.
I sensed trouble so I got on Loomees’ shoulders – who for some reason decided to stick with us – and told him to run forward as I used him like my mighty steed. Yay! I do wish I could run faster though even though riding on tall folks shoulders is fun. DON’T YOU DARE JUDGE ME! I know you’re judging me journal with your smug blank pages that mock me since I haven’t written anything on them yet. That’s why I doodle most of the time. In fact, I didn’t know I was supposed to write here until someone told me about it.
Wow, did I really just write a whole paragraph about why I don’t write?
This is why I doodle.
Eventually we did catch up with Trey though, and why she had Darwynn all punched up, tied and slung over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Conclusion; too rough of a Dom, better not tap that after all.
We did talk to Traey and basically what she said is that she’s going to try and replicate the fertilizer so she can feed the whole town. Apparently, she was afraid we’d hog the whole thing and sell it for some meager gold. Well! That wasn’t nearly an excuse to beat up poor Darwynn! I guess Troey is pretty mean! I feel kind of offended.. Why does everyone keep thinking we’re meanies? I mean, I guess we do keep barging into their houses without knocking and breaking their stuff. Oh, no, wait, that’s just me.
After that bit of a misunderstanding, we tell Troy that we’re actually quite willing to share the spoils. She unties Dar and hands her back to us, then we go with her and get the fertilizer splitting it fifty fifty. I guess we’re good now then. Yay! Doodles!
It was gonna take a while back to town though, so on the way back we set up camp to get some shut eye. Almost immediately Loomies is shaking me to wake up. Now, I know I have a reputation and all that but we’ve just met! Sheesh!
But actually he woke me up because he was hearing noises in the distance. I noticed then that it sounded a lot like the noises I make when I try to cast magic and it blows up on my face, so the next course of action was to wake the actual wizard of the party; Trai!
The dwarven woman woke with a startle and told everyone to go away while she investigated, saying that it was a bad omen. Naturally, we did exactly the opposite and started following her much to her chagrin. Haha! Silly dorf!
We headed deeper into the forest where we found a dark ritual happening. Demons, according to Traey, were being spawned, as if being born, through some kind of portal. We were being all sneaky quiet but somebody must have stepped on a twig or something because they suddenly charged at us. Dar and Lumis peppered them with arrows while the rest of us booked it. We weren’t about to fight no demons out in the open, we couldn’t even take out a walking fungus!
Fortunately, as we were running, a strange old elf jumped out of a rock – like out of a rock – and opened a hidden door for us. We ran into a tunnel because following rock jumping old elven men sounded like a better idea than taking demons head on. The tunnel lead to an open area where the old elf pulled a lever and collapsed the ceiling on top of the demons following us. Most of them at least, he left a couple for us to deal with, how nice of him!
If they got in the room it was gonna be a mess so, I sorta, kinda, jumped in front of them to bottle neck them. It looked like the right thing to do at the time.
And it was actually! I managed to hold them back for a good time all by my little self, the others spent the time shooting arrows over me and even took one out! Eventually though, they did manage to push me back a little, enough that they poured through the room- and that’s when all hell literally broke loose.
The demons spread out and started attacking us all separately, they got to the old elf and they tore and bit at him pretty badly.
But in the end, I guess what little bit of travel we’ve done toughened us up since we ended up winning! Woot! Yalandra and I stabbed one of the demons pretty nice with some awesome flanking manuevers, Nori bashed one to a pulp and Dar and Lumees riddled another full of arrow holes.
The old elf though didn’t make it, but apparently he was one of the veterans from the old wars, he led us to a room full of potions and ancient artifacts before breathing his last. So in celebration we all started drinking a bunch of the potions!!
Then, some really weird stuff happened.. Dardar and Loomees transformed into really strange stuff, with cat heads and gills and baldness and- I think I have a beard now.
Meh, I should have just staid home and doodle.